How to Find & Keep Yourself

In his essays on Self-Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote something that has always stuck with me:

“In the world, it is easy to live after the world’s opinions. In solitude, it is easy to live after one’s own. But the great man is he, who in the midst of the crowd, keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

This is particularly true in today’s world. We’re bombarded by gadgets and stimuli to keep ourselves busy and our minds engaged and distracted: cell phones, text messaging, email, Internet, television, radio, etc.

More often than not, however, these things prevent us from spending time on the truly important.

And the most important time we can spend is time in solitude discovering who we are, what is important to us, what our values and priorities are, who we want to be and do.

One of the most important, foundational keys to success is the willingness and ability to connect with your inner core—to internalize what it is that you’re all about.

Take the Time

There’s really no slick technique to this. It simply comes down to taking the time every day to ponder, reflect, study, and plan.

Personally, I spend two hours a day doing this, and it’s the most important two hours of my day.

Scheduling and keeping a daily solitude experience is how to find yourself. And staying consistent with that is how you “keep” yourself—in other words, stay grounded and in touch with what matters to you—when you go out into the world.

Economics, or Priority?

Some people say, “I understand that solitude time is important, but I don’t have the economic ability to do it. I’m too busy taking care of my family.”

This isn’t a chicken and egg quandary. Solitude time should precede working time. It’s simply a matter of priority.

The truth is that the more solitude time you take, the more you’ll earn.

To anyone who tells me they don’t have time to meditate, my response is that you have all the time there is.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day. When you say you don’t have time for something, what you are really saying is that you value something else more.

So if you don’t have time to start out with 10 to 15 minutes of planning every day, the reality is that you don’t value it, or at least that you value other things more.

So here’s my question to you: How can you consciously choose what you value if you don’t take time to think about your values and priorities?

If you’re not thinking about your values consistently and if you say you don’t have time to do so, aren’t you just living by default?

Are you choosing your life, or is life choosing your time for you?

Are you living by the world’s opinions, or your own?

Schedule time for solitude every day. Dig deep to discover who you really are and what matters most to you.

By doing so, you’ll be more peaceful, in tune, empowered, and confident. What’s more, over time you’ll begin to see a direct connection between your solitude time and income.