Rewards and Consequences
20. Aug, 2010 
2 Comments
By Daria Davidson
“We all get to live with the rewards and the consequences of our decisions.”
I have said that simple phrase thousands of times over the last 25 years.
Spending 20 years as an emergency room physician gave me a chance to see, up close and very personal, the truth of this simple phrase.
Most people don’t start their day planning a trip to the ER. They show up here because something occurred for which they are in need of a medical intervention.
I remember one fellow who had way too much to drink and got in a fight (one of thousands of such folks, each with a different story).
This patient had a good-sized laceration to his face, which required stitches. He was distraught and having trouble with impulse control (that is medical lingo for too drunk to act as a prudent man would act).
As I was suturing his laceration, he kept screaming “I don’t want a scar, I don’t want a scar, I don’t want a scar.”
Well, since the injury had already occurred and he had a wide gaping cut to his face, his only choices were a small and long scar (that was repaired) or a wide and long scar (that healed on it’s own).
“No scar” was no longer an option for him. Once again, we all get to live with the rewards and the consequences of our decisions.
8 years into my ER doc role, I lived a life that was, well, pathetic in many ways.
I got the adrenal rush that went along with the craziness and intensity of my job, but I also got: massive stress, chronic severe sleep deprivation, being at the hospital over 100 hours a week, being too busy to do the wonderful things that a mom could do with and for her children (and constantly feeling torn and guilty).
The responsible “me” could rationalize all of it, especially since I was paying off almost $300,000 in student loans.
I knew I would have consequences which I would deal with “tomorrow.” My little phrase, “we all get to live with the rewards and the consequences of our decisions”, echoed in my head.
Well, in September of 1992 I heard the words “you have cancer” and “you will never hear the word cure.” Rewards and consequences became uncomfortably real.
I had been so busy focusing on the rewards. I had conveniently and purposefully neglected to really look at the consequences of my crazy reality.
And the consequences came charging at me.
Needless to say, my life changed that day. I see the diagnosis as a gift because it opened my eyes. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, but I know it changed my perspective dramatically.
For all of us, each day is a series of decisions. Each decision comes with a price. Each decision. Every day.
There is no avoiding it. We all get to live with the rewards and the consequences of these decisions.
Enjoy the journey. And as Will Rogers once said:
“Live so that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.”
Indeed.
Thank you Daria for sharing this story. This reminds me alot of another type if situation where a person has to think about what they are doing. I was having a conversation the other day about a ‘white collar’ criminal in our community, and how distressing it is to the law abiding citizens when this person continues to “get away with it”. What we both agreed upon is that although we may not see the karma coming back to bite this person immediately, it will eventually, we just have to have faith. For those who think that they will try the same ‘activities’ because there appears to be no consequence only need to understand that they may have the personality type that could not happily live with what they have done. So in other words, even if others around you are doing things you know to be wrong, and getting away with it; know that YOU can sleep at night and feel good about yourself by sticking with your values and morals. There is a payback!! Somewhere down the road, the price is paid, one way or another.
I to have been so lost in life and Max is my wakeup call. Thank you for reminding us that we have a choice.