Zig Ziglar shares a story that makes this point. He says,

“A child stood and watched her mother prepare the annual holiday ham.

The mother carefully cut each end off the ham before placing it in the pan. The child asked, ‘Mother, why do you always cut the ends off the ham?’

The mother replied, ‘Well, that’s the way my mother always did it.’

So, the child called her grandmother and asked, ‘Grandma, why do you always cut the ends off the ham?’

The grandmother replied, ‘Because that’s the way my mother always did it.’

Finally, the child called her great-grandmother and asked, ‘Great-Grandma, why did you always cut the ends off the ham?’

The great-grandmother replied, ‘Because the ham was way too big to fit in my small baking pan!’”

Leaders never base their decisions and/or actions on following the crowd. They analyze and cut through myths to arrive at true principles, and they use principles as a guide for discerning truth from error.

Raise your conscious awareness of myths that may be limiting your potential by finding and living true principles.

Take a cue from these folks. Put down the gadgets and watch the people who matter most return to view.

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Who or what do you follow, and how do you show your devotion?

The word discipline comes from the word “disciple” and the suffix “ine.” “Ine” means, “of or pertaining to; like.”

Therefore, to be disciplined means to be like a disciple, or having the qualities of a disciple.

What we spend our disciplined time on daily shows where our allegiance lies.

Our discipline determines our social class and peers. For example, if we are disciplined to acquire (or in other words if we follow) money we probably have an allegiance to self, and we will attract others with the same allegiance.

Examine how you spend your time, for this is indicative of your allegiance.

In the 2007 quirky film “Juno”, the title character deals with her teen pregnancy with an astute sense of self-awareness…and also Twizzler ropes.

So what can this strangely articulate teen teach the rest of us about dealing with the unexpected challenge?

“I’m already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?”

This is Juno’s response to her baby’s adoptive mother asking if her parents will worry about Juno being missing for the afternoon.

In essence, this is Juno saying, well, it can’t really get any worse, right?

When you feel like you’ve hit the worst possible scenario, maybe the best possible reaction is acceptance. Not acceptance in a forfeiting manner, but acceptance as the first step towards moving forward in the face of a problem.

“Anyway dude, I’m telling you I’m pregnant and you’re acting shockingly cavalier.”

Juno’s best friend is slow on the uptake that Juno’s serious about her situation. Sometimes people just won’t understand your expression of a problem the first time around.

Be patient, but don’t shy away from being direct about your distress. The friends and partners who matter will eventually drop the attitude, recognize your challenge, and help you deal with it.

“You know, they call me the cautionary whale.”

Not every mistake we make is as visible as pregnancy but sometimes they feel that way.

Visibility of your mistakes can be painful, but they can also serve a positive purpose. Obvious errors can be useful reminders to others and yourself of what to expect if the mistake is repeated.

“I am a sacred vessel, all right? All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell.”

Despite all of the burdens of carrying a child for someone else, Juno looks for small moments of self-confidence like this during her pregnancy.

Small victories in the face of daunting challenges can make the difference in surmounting those issues.

A healthy sense of humor doesn’t hurt either.

“I’m just, like, losing my faith with humanity… I need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together forever.”

We’re human so we strive for a solid sense of optimism. But coming to grips with the realities of human limitations isn’t an epiphany limited to pregnant teenagers.

Accepting limitations is not the same as accepting mediocrity. People may not be perfect, but knowing that is the first step towards living successfully in that reality.

“Oh, just out dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.”

Sometimes we’re faced with situations beyond our sense of preparedness.

But just because you don’t feel prepared, doesn’t mean you can’t deal with a challenging situation. With the right resources, we can be stretched to fit.

Find mentors. Read websites. Go to workshops. These are just some of the ways to push our skill set to fit more situations for which we’re not already prepared.

“I don’t know what kind of girl I am.”

Challenges ought to help us question and even redefine our sense of self. That’s one of their positive benefits easily lost among the negatives.

Still, uncertainty about who we are can feel unsettling at best. Instead of freezing in the face of them, take advantage of the opportunity for change.

Maybe this is as simple as changing a pesky habit. Maybe it means questioning our core characteristics. Either way, not being sure of who we are can lead us towards becoming a better version of ourselves.

So there you have it: seven genuine messages from one of the most idiosyncratic films in recent years. And you thought Juno was all senseless high school slang and indie music…

At the time of the plane crash, Todd and Lisa had two children, with one on the way.

Todd was one of the leaders who, realizing that the terrorists were on a suicide mission, organized a counterattack to subdue them.

Although they were not successful in bringing the plane down safely, their heroic actions undoubtedly saved many other lives by averting the plane from hitting its unknown target.

The customary reaction would have been for Lisa to be angry, bitter, and full of hatred for what the terrorists had done to her husband and her life. Instead, she chose love over hate, and faith over bitterness.

In her autobiographical account she quotes from a speech she gave where she said,

“…September 11 was just another date on the calendar for all of us. Now, when we hear that date, it brings to mind all sorts of things, from fear to anger to sadness to thoughts of all the loss that we have experienced personally.

“We’re left with choices about what we will do with those feelings. The choices for people like me…are to look at all the things we’ve lost or to look at all the things we have; to become bitter or to become better; to live in fear or to live in hope. I’ve chosen to live in hope…”

She is quick to point out that the source of her strength is God and having an eternal perspective. She writes,

“Lately I’ve been trying to look at the bigger picture, to discover what I’m supposed to learn from all this. I’m sure I have much growth yet to experience, but I’ve gleaned a few insights.

“Probably the most important truth is that my security must be in God rather than in anything or anyone in this world…I have found safety and security in a loving heavenly Father, who cannot be shaken, who will never leave me or forsake me, and in whom I can trust completely.

“For those looking for hope, I recommend grabbing the hand of your heavenly Father as tightly as possible, like a little child does with his parent. God is a hero who will always be there when you need him.”

Let us follow Lisa’s example and find the hero in us by choosing faith over fear and love over bitterness.

“Success…to laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Share your definition of success by commenting below.

“How long it took you to catch them?” The American asked.

“Only a little while.” The Mexican replied.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family’s immediate needs.” The Mexican said.

“But,” The American then asked, “What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor.”

The American scoffed. “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds you buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

“Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own can factory. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York City where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 to 20 years.”

“But what then, señor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions, señor? Then what?”

The American said slowly, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos…”

Who seems richer, the fisherman or the businessman? Don’t forget to enjoy life’s true treasures – family, friends and happiness – while you’re seeking monetary wealth.

When I was 12, my mother took me to Germany to visit relatives.

While we were there, we took a boat trip down the Rhine River and saw castles tower over endless mountainside vineyards.

We visited one of the castles. I must have played and explored for hours. Before we left, my mother bought me a souvenir: a 3-inch statue of a knight in shining armor.

I still have that little knight. If you saw it, you might ask, “What’s the value in that?” I see it and it brings back a flood of memories.

Value is always in the eye of the beholder.

A diamond is only valuable because we all agree it’s valuable. Not everything is that straightforward. Maybe a book is valuable to you. Maybe it helped you grow, heal or connect to God.

To really become a builder – to be able to see opportunities and improve the world around you – you must understand that value isn’t monetary. It’s a part of ourselves.

It can be what we believe and experience. Maybe it’s the lessons we learn. Maybe it is our time.

Maybe it’s not what we think is valuable, but what the person we’re trading with thinks is valuable.

When we share something of value, it goes a long way.

What do you value? What can you give?

Most people desire more out of their lives but simply do not implement a workable plan to do so.

For example, most people wish they had a better marriage, but how many actually plan to make it better?

Most people want a higher income or advancement at their jobs, but how many study how to become more of an asset to their company and do it?

Most people want to accomplish their dreams, but how many write down a plan – complete with goals and timelines – and work consistently at it every day?

Case in point: researchers compared people who wrote down their New Year’s resolutions to those who didn’t. Those who wrote down their goals were about 45 percent more likely to have followed though and accomplished them!

That’s a huge difference. If all that’s all that is lying between you and your greatest desires is a plan and a little consistent effort, what’s stopping you?

The time spent divorcing yourself from life’s distractions to invest in something that is capable of bringing you the highest heights of personal fulfillment, is definitely worthwhile.

And while your creative juices are flowing, you may find that your dreams and aspirations will morph and grow beyond what you first imagined. Knowledge increases knowledge. Greater aspirations inevitably blesses others and society as a whole.

The cost of you not becoming the greatest you possible is the impact you could have made in your own life and the lives of others.

Anyone who is an expert in their field, or earns a high income, has spent time investing in their craft. They invested their time, resources, acquired knowledge, and practiced what they learned, but they always, always started with a plan.

Intentional living isn’t easy; there are no shortcuts. It requires thought, time for reflection, planning, and doing, but the rewards are the fruits of your labor.

Why do you keep beating yourself up? Negativity isn’t productive, but you can turn it around.

For instance, try throwing yourself a “Hate Party.”

Grab a piece of paper and write down every single thing that you hate about your life. Everything!

Now look at that list. What can you just stop doing, thinking or being? Whatever it is, just stop it.

What’s left on the your list? Decide what you hate the most. What can you do to change it?

Now figure out the steps to change it.

What’s Causing Your Headache?

I once saw a boy hitting his head repeatedly.

I asked him, “What are you doing?”

“Hitting my head.”

“I know you are hitting your head. But why?”

“I dunno. That’s just what I do when I get upset.” Then he said, “I have a headache.”

“Do you know how to stop getting headaches?” I asked.

“I dunno.”

“Quit hitting your head!”

Sometimes it’s just that simple. But not always.

Don’t Let Others Define You

Julie has been struggling to lose weight, but slowly it’s coming off.

One day, Julie and I agreed to go on a lunch walk. First we had to drop something off at her sister’s place, so we decided to do that on our walk too.

When we arrived at her sister’s house, her sister asked where we parked. I told her we walked. She looked at Julie and said, “This is a joke, right?”

Julie said, “No. We walked.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked her sister.

“Well, Julie just doesn’t do things like that. I was surprised,” she replied.

“We’re doing it to tone up as we lose weight,” I explained.

“Oh well. That won’t last long. Julie has always weighed a lot and that isn’t ever going to change.”

I saw Julie’s face fall. Then she mentioned that we had to get going.

Later Julie and I went out for a light lunch. I was dismayed to hear her order a large banana split. She ate her banana split with tears streaming down her face.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“I am beating myself up because I will never lose weight.”

“No!” I protested. “You are beating yourself up with your sister’s reality. It is only your reality if you allow it to be.”

Are you beating yourself up? Then, quite simply, STOP IT! If you’re doing a self-defeating action, thought or saying, quit it!

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Lu Swart is a Max International associate, life coach, motivator, and writer. A happily married mother of four sons, her goals are to “make a difference every day of my life, value every minute of my life, live life to the fullest, and do the work I love.”