The bird let loose in Eastern skies,
Returning fondly home,
Ne’er stoops to earth her wing, nor flies
Where idle warblers roam;
But high she shoots through air and light,
Above all low delay,
Where nothing earthly bounds her flight,
Nor shadow dims her way.

—Thomas Moore, “Oh That I Had Wings”

How do fly above “all low delay”? How do you avoid “idle warblers”? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
—Leo Buscaglia

How have a touch, a smile, or a kind word turned your life around? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Mere weeks before the conclusion of the war, Abraham Lincoln delivered his second inaugural address. Despite the enmity of war and the trials he and the nation had jointly faced, his words spoke of healing and reconciliation. He laid no blame on either party, for in his simple, poignant words, “and the war came.”

Instead of focusing on the differences that divided North and South, he focused on the common culture that yet bound them together. “Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other,” he said. And yet, he acknowledged that controlling events was out of his or indeed out of any man’s hands: “Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said ‘the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.’”

And with his peroration, Lincoln became “healer-in-chief,” espousing “malice toward none” and “charity for all,” and a call “to bind up the nation’s wounds”—not just in the North. He pledged the nation to “care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan,” and to look toward “a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

These are the words of one who bore no grudge, who sought peace in the ashes of war, who saw the full potential of his countrymen, regardless of uniform. We can all learn to seek the welfare of others and lay no blame, even when such can be laid.

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

What influence do your friends have on you? Do you allow your friends to be sincere? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Two spoken phrases are especially powerful at furthering relationships and, when necessary, repairing them. These are “thank you” and “I’m sorry.”

Saying thank you when someone helps you or gives you something is commonplace and, generally, expected. What is less expected is to express thanks to someone just for being there for you—or, just for being. As you look them in the eye, say “thank you” to people in your life at random moments and watch the positive impact it will have on them. It’s worth it.

For times when amends must be made, a sincere “I’m sorry” can heal the figurative wounds we have inflicted. We may not be able to fully repair what we did, but we can show our acknowledgement that we were wrong, and that’s often not easy. Too often, personal pride prevents us from this sort of surrender. But, there is a healing balm in these words when we humble ourselves and use them.

None of this should be a revelation to anyone. We aren’t reinventing the wheel here. But, it’s useful to be reminded from time to time that two simple phrases that we might not be using enough can have a tremendous influence on those around us.

In the personal development field, few names have as much cachet as Stephen R. Covey. His book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is a true classic, spawning or otherwise propagating such familiar terms as “begin with the end in mind,” “Put first things first,” and “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

With The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, Covey’s son, Stephen M.R. Covey, gives readers actionable direction on how to develop trust and use it to achieve better results in life—work, home, and all relationships.

As Covey sees it,

Trust impacts us 24/7, 365 days a year. It undergirds and affects the quality of every relationship, every communication, every work project, every business venture, every effort in which we are engaged. It changes the quality of every present moment and alters the trajectory and outcome of every future moment of our lives—both personally and professionally.

As important as trust is, it’s a good thing that we can proactively build it. The trust others place in us is based on our credibility, and we can enhance our credibility through the “Four Cores of Credibility”—Integrity, Intent, Capabilities, and Results. These are focus on our “Self  Trust.”

The next section of the book focuses on “Relationship Trust.” Covey refers to “Trust Accounts” and he provides 13 behaviors that help us make deposits:

• Talk Straight
• Demonstrate Respect
• Create Transparency
• Right Wrongs
• Show Loyalty
• Deliver Results
• Get Better
• Confront Reality
• Clarify Expectations
• Practice Accountability
• Listen First
• Keep Commitments
• Extend Trust

He also points out that the behaviors need to work together to create balance. Talk Straight and Demonstrate Respect have to work together!

Aside from the book itself, the value Covey places on trust is evident in the 10 (!) pages of endorsements at the front of the book. I wonder if that was done intentionally.

The Speed of Trust will open your eyes to how you can maximize this essential concept.

Find The Speed of Trust on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

“The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it.”
—Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

Do you engage in conversation as conquest, or in the “true spirit” as Lord Lytton suggests? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Friendships bring great joy to our lives. Friends help us be more well-rounded people, and expose us to new experiences and ideas. Friends help us celebrate good news, and comfort us when things don’t go our way. Without question, friendships are vital to a healthy psyche and attitude.

And, according to author Tom Rath in Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without, friends and friendships can dramatically impact our commitment to jobs. Rath’s findings show that having a “best friend” at work is critical to long-term success: people who have a best friend at work are seven times as likely to be engaged in their job. One of the keys to this is also the title of Chapter One: “Who expects you to be somebody?” Aside from relationships at work, Rath also explores critical friendship between spouses or “significant others.”

Instead of focusing so much on personal development, Rath believes the time has come to work on relationships:

When we think consciously about improving our lives, we focus our development inward. We strive to be better human beings. We try to make ourselves better employees. Even when we step back and focus on developing another person, as great parents and managers do so well, most of our emphasis is on the other person as an individual. We simply bypass the relationship itself. […] If we have already spent significant time on self-development, is it possible that most of the magic—our room for rapid personal and professional growth—lies in developing our friendships? Perhaps focusing on the individual is too narrow—and focusing on the entire group is too broad. The real energy occurs in each connection between two people, which can bring about exponential returns.

Throughout the book, Rath throws out interesting findings, such as: “If your best friend has a very healthy diet, you are five times as likely to have a very healthy diet yourself” and “During our teenage years, we spend nearly one-third of our time with friends. For the rest of our lives, the average…is less than 10%.”

According to his findings, there are eight “vital roles” that our friends can fill (and that we can fill for others): Builder, Champion, Collaborator, Companion, Connector, Energizer, Mind Opener, and Navigator. Each book also includes an on-line code that gives you access to a Website assessment, which helps you identify the vital friends in your life and the roles they fill.

Find Vital Friends on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

“You’ve heard of people calling in sick. You may have even called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well?

It’d go like this: You’d get the boss on the line and say, ‘Listen, I’ve been sick ever since I started working here, but today I’m well and I won’t be in anymore.’ Call in well.” -Tom Robbins

Are you ready to call in well?

As shown in the film, even before he was made King, George VI (or “Bertie” to his intimates), tries repeatedly to conquer his disorder, without result. And then, Bertie began working with Australian Lionel Logue. Although he had no formal training and used what in the film were called “unorthodox methods,” he is eventually able to help Bertie largely overcome his stutter. In the movie, at least, Logue’s lack of credentials precipitates a temporary crisis of confidence in Bertie, brought on by intriguing advisors, but he soon recognizes the impact Logue has had.

What can we learn from The King’s Speech? Bertie was determined to overcome a “weakness” and make himself better. Although he was nearly without hope that he could be cured (if “cured” is the right word), he persevered. And, he was willing to look for answers from what could be called “unlikely” sources. A king can summon experts of all stripes, but Bertie’s breakthrough came from a supposedly untrained specialist whose greatest attribute was that he cared.

Answers that come easy typically answer the easy questions. When you need answers to important questions, when you are faced with a challenge beyond yourself, are you willing to seek unorthodox answers? Obviously you’re not going to ask an accountant about a toothache, but don’t be too quick to discount the sincere input people around you can provide.

Here is a brief clip from the film for your viewing pleasure.