What does that mean? In essence, the process of striving toward something is what makes us worthy of that thing. If you have a goal to become wealthy, are you becoming the type of person who can manage wealth?  Or, if you attain wealth, will wealth manage you?

In the end, as usual, it comes down to action. For example, what are you doing to become a leader? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do the thing and you will have the power.” In other words, do the sorts of things that leaders do and, voila, you will become a leader. How did you learn to ride a bike? By riding a bike. How do you learn to become a leader? By leading!

In your pursuit of personal development, make an effort to “do the thing” so you can become more.

It has been said that perception is reality, but too often deception ends up at the foundation of our outlook. The stories we tell ourselves become a recurring soundtrack. This can often be positive and motivating, but it can also be destructive and limiting. Not only can a poor perception of ourselves hold us back from reaching our potential, but a perception of ourselves that is too positive can distort relationships and short-circuit our ability to lead others.

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box by “Arbinger Institute” illustrates these dangers of self-deception, and the need to “get out of the box.” According to the book, self-deception causes us to:

• Emphasize the faults of others
• Exaggerate our virtues
• Blame others
• Be self-centered

These behaviors tend to turn people off, and when that means people we need to lead, we’re dead in the water. Through self-deception, we end up “in the box” and we can’t see out. The way out is to focus on results rather than oneself and justification.

According to the author(s), self-deception

blinds us to the true causes of problems, and once we’re blind, all the ’solutions’ we can think of will actually make matters worse. Whether at work or at home, self-deception obscures the truth about ourselves, corrupts our view of others and our circumstances, and inhibits our ability to make wise and helpful decisions. To the extent that we are self-deceived, both our happiness and our leadership are undermined at every turn.

Find Leadership and Self-Deception at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Do you find certain words have special resonance for you? Do some words motivate you to action while others, for whatever reason, grate on your nerves? Do you use words as well as you’d like?

This week’s book recommendation is Aspire: Discovering Your Purpose Through the Power of Words, by Kevin Hall. I have known Kevin for many years, and greatly value his insights. But even if I didn’t know the author of this book, I would still recommend it without hesitation.

Kevin is a student of words. He loves their inherent power, and is a perfectionist about using the right words to create the right message—inspiring as well as informing. He is also passionate about understanding the hidden meaning of words and using that knowledge to communicate more effectively.  In fact, the name of the company he established is Power of Words, LLC.

Aspire shows us that the right words can lead us to success and fulfillment, while the wrong words can inhibit our progress. Kevin’s goal with the book is to help readers “develop a new leadership vocabulary.” He focuses on 11 core words that have profoundly impacted him. I share only one here to whet your appetite: Pathfinder. That may strike you as a rather benign word to highlight, but here’s what you probably don’t know: the word leader is comprised of two parts, l-e-a meaning “path,” and d-e-r meaning “finder.” As one of Kevin’s mentors explains, “Leaders find the path. They are the readers of the signs and the clues. They see and show the way.”

There are likely dozens of definitions of “leader” or “leadership.” I have rarely encountered one so elegant and insightful. I’m sure you’ll find the rest of the book lives up to that praise.

Find it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

“It may be that the human race is not ready for freedom. The air of liberty may be too rarified for us to breathe…

The paradox seems to be, as Socrates demonstrated long ago, that the truly free individual is free only to the extent of his own self-mastery. While those who will not govern themselves are condemned to find masters to govern over them.” -Steven Pressfield

Share your thoughts on this quote with the community by commenting below.

“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.” -Lawrence of Arabia

Do you dream big dreams during the day, or are you satisfied with the misty and ethereal dreams of the night? Share with the community by commenting below.

Brill posed as a wealthy foreigner in New York City, and got into several dozen taxis to see how many drivers would cheat him.

Only one out of thirty-seven cheated him.

The rest took him directly to his destination and charged him correctly.

Several refused to take him when his destination was only a block or two away, even getting out of their cabs to show him how close he already was.

Recognize scarcity, but only with the intent of increasing your ability to choose abundance. Despite the problems, our world is full of light and joy, if that’s what we choose to see.

Recommended Reading: All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum

“Those who dream by day see many things which escape those who only dream by night.” -Edgar Allen Poe

Ben taught himself to “see” by hearing sounds bounce off of nearby objects.

It doesn’t matter what holds you back. You can teach yourself to overcome it.

*If you’re reading this in an RSS reader or e-mail, you may need to click the title of the post to view the video on our blog”

Many would-be leaders, in their quest to produce value, end up taking on unnecessary tasks that others are responsible for and thus feed irresponsibility in those around them.

Leaders understand their unique role and do it with excellence, and they allow others to also fulfill their individual roles without depriving them of opportunities for growth by doing their job.

Leaders don’t do what others should do and then think that they’re doing them a favor.

Misguided actions that lead toward dependence often masquerade as charity. If your actions toward others does not lead them to increased self-reliance, you can know with a surety that you are hindering, not helping them.

True accountability is based on real love; if we truly love others we will allow them to fulfill their responsibilities without giving them a crutch.

Help others around you to rise to their potential by holding them accountable for their responsibilities.

Recommended Reading: The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey by Blanchard, Oncken, and Burrows.

Our mind is heavily influenced by the words that we use, and vice versa.

We must constantly beware of consumer words and phrases such as, “need,” “have to,” “He made me do it,” “I’ll try,” “expect,” “I’ll get it done someday,” and “deserve.”

Leaders don’t need anything, or have to do anything — they want or prefer things. Need implies that we have no choice, while want implies choice and responsibility.

Leaders know that everything they do is a choice; even if they are the subjects of physical force they still choose their response.

Leaders don’t “try” to do anything — they do or do not. Leaders realize that “someday” is really never — they make specific declarations and then follow through with integrity.

Leaders know that they do not deserve anything — they simply create the things that they want without any sense of expectation from life or from other people.

Stay in abundance by being highly conscious of the words you use. Scrub your language of anything that indicates a lack of choice or personal responsibility.