What does that mean? In essence, the process of striving toward something is what makes us worthy of that thing. If you have a goal to become wealthy, are you becoming the type of person who can manage wealth?  Or, if you attain wealth, will wealth manage you?

In the end, as usual, it comes down to action. For example, what are you doing to become a leader? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do the thing and you will have the power.” In other words, do the sorts of things that leaders do and, voila, you will become a leader. How did you learn to ride a bike? By riding a bike. How do you learn to become a leader? By leading!

In your pursuit of personal development, make an effort to “do the thing” so you can become more.

It has been said that the only constant in life is change. One who doesn’t anticipate change of some sort—in careers, economics, home life, and more—is bound to be frustrated and possibly even angry when change comes his or her way.

Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life, may be the best-known book we have featured on this blog. Written as a parable of sorts, the book features four characters: two “littlepeople” Hem and Haw, and two mice, Scurry and Sniff. This quartet lives in a maze and their existence is about finding cheese. They eventually find plenty at “Cheese Station C.”

But later, there is no cheese there. The mice start looking for new cheese, but Hem and Haw simply get upset that someone moved their cheese. Over time, Haw finally decides to leave Cheese Station C and find new cheese. He writes, “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” on the wall of the maze and embarks on his new journey. What will he find?

As we teach in our Max Living seminars, it’s essential for us to recognize what we can control and what we can’t. Change on some level is inevitable for all of us; we can’t prevent it, we probably can’t control it, but it may be possible to mitigate its impact on us. That is the message of this book—being prepared for change and not getting complacent.

The recent economic upheaval has resulted in a lot of moved (or vaporized) cheese. Many have been through a lifetime’s worth of change in the last couple years. This book won’t solve all problems, but I’m sure it will help you realize, as Haw states, that “when you move beyond your fear, you feel free.”

This is a short book and a quick read. You may find it more economical to purchase a used copy, or get it from your library. Otherwise, find Who Moved My Cheese on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

The bird let loose in Eastern skies,
Returning fondly home,
Ne’er stoops to earth her wing, nor flies
Where idle warblers roam;
But high she shoots through air and light,
Above all low delay,
Where nothing earthly bounds her flight,
Nor shadow dims her way.

—Thomas Moore, “Oh That I Had Wings”

How do fly above “all low delay”? How do you avoid “idle warblers”? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

One of our recent blog posts asked “what is your recipe for success?” If success is a recipe, then it may also be true that constantly repeating that recipe will lead to stale leftovers. As we pointed out in that post, once you master the basics of the recipe, it’s time to “improvise and explore.”

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith makes a similar argument, but with a lot more evidence.

Goldsmith is a highly regarded executive coach, commanding six-figure fees for helping C-level professionals alter their behavior. This book shares what he has learned from those coaching jobs, while conveying what he teaches his clients.

The first section of the book focuses on “the trouble with success.” How can success be equated with trouble? The problem arises when we allow success to make us blind to our shortcomings. Goldsmith also outlines how past success can lead to “superstitious” behavior. “Superstition is merely the confusion of correlation and causality,” he writes. “Any human, like any animal, tends to repeat behavior that is followed by positive reinforcement. The more we achieve, the more reinforcement we get.”

Section Two is dedicated to the “twenty habits that hold you back from the top,” including:

• Adding too much value (i.e, always feeling you have to contribute to every discussion)
• Speaking when angry
• Withholding information
• Failing to give proper recognition
• Playing favorites
• Not listening
• Passing the buck

Happily, Section Three is focused on “how we can change for the better,” which is what personal development is all about. Goldberg lists feedback as the most useful means for change. Another tool is to “advertise,” or telling people you are trying to change. Both of these imply a healthy dose of humility. Section Four wraps up the book with advice on “pulling out the stops,” which helps readers apply the lessons with a few final “rules.”

As Goldsmith states, “The higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.” That’s good advice for any kind of organization…including a family.

Find What Got You Here on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
—Leo Buscaglia

How have a touch, a smile, or a kind word turned your life around? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Mere weeks before the conclusion of the war, Abraham Lincoln delivered his second inaugural address. Despite the enmity of war and the trials he and the nation had jointly faced, his words spoke of healing and reconciliation. He laid no blame on either party, for in his simple, poignant words, “and the war came.”

Instead of focusing on the differences that divided North and South, he focused on the common culture that yet bound them together. “Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other,” he said. And yet, he acknowledged that controlling events was out of his or indeed out of any man’s hands: “Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said ‘the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.’”

And with his peroration, Lincoln became “healer-in-chief,” espousing “malice toward none” and “charity for all,” and a call “to bind up the nation’s wounds”—not just in the North. He pledged the nation to “care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan,” and to look toward “a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

These are the words of one who bore no grudge, who sought peace in the ashes of war, who saw the full potential of his countrymen, regardless of uniform. We can all learn to seek the welfare of others and lay no blame, even when such can be laid.

When the NCAA Selection Committee unveiled the tournament participants, the so-called experts questioned the reasoning behind including VCU. Some said they were not worthy of inclusion, having finished 21-10 (or, 23-11 after the conference tournament) in what is considered a “mid major” conference. In fact, VCU was forced to play a “play-in” game against the University of Southern California. The winner of that game would then be considered part of the traditional “field of 64.”

Despite all the naysayers, VCU beat USC…and then Georgetown, Purdue, Florida State, and #1 seed Kansas, all of whom happen to play in traditionally basketball-strong conferences. Now, VCU, the proverbial Cinderella, is one game away from playing for the national championship.

What does all of this have to do with Max and personal development? If the so-called experts decided championships, if the outcome of games were determined by a vote, or by what happened a few months ago, or who played in which conference, VCU wouldn’t be in this situation. They made the most of their opportunity and put previous losses behind them. They determined their own destiny.

Do you do the same? Do you take charge, or do you listen to the naysayers? Do you put past failures behind you and focus on a championship effort? Or, do you let others determine your boundaries?

2 cups heavy cream

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Five ingredients, easily obtainable at the local grocery store. With heavy cream, egg yolks, and sugar, no doubt it will be something rich and satisfying.

What’s next?

Obviously you have to know what to do with the ingredients. You need a recipe to help you assemble everything properly. Success comes from following a proven path. Otherwise, you’re left to your own devices, forced to stumble around looking for answers, and cooking up who knows what.

So what happens after you have mastered the recipe? That’s when you can improvise and explore. To the ingredients above perhaps you add some lemon curd, or perhaps some finely chopped semi-sweet chocolate. The recipe you learned then becomes the departure point for numerous variations, each of which gives you the opportunity to expand the boundaries. It’s like a piano prodigy adding her own flavor to a Mozart classic.

The basics—the recipe—are always at the core of your effort. But it’s only the start. Once you master the basics, then you can improvise and experiment.

(So what do those ingredients make? When combined properly, they will produce a fantastic crème brûlée.)

“You’ve heard of people calling in sick. You may have even called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well?

It’d go like this: You’d get the boss on the line and say, ‘Listen, I’ve been sick ever since I started working here, but today I’m well and I won’t be in anymore.’ Call in well.” -Tom Robbins

Are you ready to call in well?

It has been said that perception is reality, but too often deception ends up at the foundation of our outlook. The stories we tell ourselves become a recurring soundtrack. This can often be positive and motivating, but it can also be destructive and limiting. Not only can a poor perception of ourselves hold us back from reaching our potential, but a perception of ourselves that is too positive can distort relationships and short-circuit our ability to lead others.

Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box by “Arbinger Institute” illustrates these dangers of self-deception, and the need to “get out of the box.” According to the book, self-deception causes us to:

• Emphasize the faults of others
• Exaggerate our virtues
• Blame others
• Be self-centered

These behaviors tend to turn people off, and when that means people we need to lead, we’re dead in the water. Through self-deception, we end up “in the box” and we can’t see out. The way out is to focus on results rather than oneself and justification.

According to the author(s), self-deception

blinds us to the true causes of problems, and once we’re blind, all the ’solutions’ we can think of will actually make matters worse. Whether at work or at home, self-deception obscures the truth about ourselves, corrupts our view of others and our circumstances, and inhibits our ability to make wise and helpful decisions. To the extent that we are self-deceived, both our happiness and our leadership are undermined at every turn.

Find Leadership and Self-Deception at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.