—Jean Jacques Rousseau

It has been said that the only constant in life is change. One who doesn’t anticipate change of some sort—in careers, economics, home life, and more—is bound to be frustrated and possibly even angry when change comes his or her way.

Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life, may be the best-known book we have featured on this blog. Written as a parable of sorts, the book features four characters: two “littlepeople” Hem and Haw, and two mice, Scurry and Sniff. This quartet lives in a maze and their existence is about finding cheese. They eventually find plenty at “Cheese Station C.”

But later, there is no cheese there. The mice start looking for new cheese, but Hem and Haw simply get upset that someone moved their cheese. Over time, Haw finally decides to leave Cheese Station C and find new cheese. He writes, “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?” on the wall of the maze and embarks on his new journey. What will he find?

As we teach in our Max Living seminars, it’s essential for us to recognize what we can control and what we can’t. Change on some level is inevitable for all of us; we can’t prevent it, we probably can’t control it, but it may be possible to mitigate its impact on us. That is the message of this book—being prepared for change and not getting complacent.

The recent economic upheaval has resulted in a lot of moved (or vaporized) cheese. Many have been through a lifetime’s worth of change in the last couple years. This book won’t solve all problems, but I’m sure it will help you realize, as Haw states, that “when you move beyond your fear, you feel free.”

This is a short book and a quick read. You may find it more economical to purchase a used copy, or get it from your library. Otherwise, find Who Moved My Cheese on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

One of our recent blog posts asked “what is your recipe for success?” If success is a recipe, then it may also be true that constantly repeating that recipe will lead to stale leftovers. As we pointed out in that post, once you master the basics of the recipe, it’s time to “improvise and explore.”

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith makes a similar argument, but with a lot more evidence.

Goldsmith is a highly regarded executive coach, commanding six-figure fees for helping C-level professionals alter their behavior. This book shares what he has learned from those coaching jobs, while conveying what he teaches his clients.

The first section of the book focuses on “the trouble with success.” How can success be equated with trouble? The problem arises when we allow success to make us blind to our shortcomings. Goldsmith also outlines how past success can lead to “superstitious” behavior. “Superstition is merely the confusion of correlation and causality,” he writes. “Any human, like any animal, tends to repeat behavior that is followed by positive reinforcement. The more we achieve, the more reinforcement we get.”

Section Two is dedicated to the “twenty habits that hold you back from the top,” including:

• Adding too much value (i.e, always feeling you have to contribute to every discussion)
• Speaking when angry
• Withholding information
• Failing to give proper recognition
• Playing favorites
• Not listening
• Passing the buck

Happily, Section Three is focused on “how we can change for the better,” which is what personal development is all about. Goldberg lists feedback as the most useful means for change. Another tool is to “advertise,” or telling people you are trying to change. Both of these imply a healthy dose of humility. Section Four wraps up the book with advice on “pulling out the stops,” which helps readers apply the lessons with a few final “rules.”

As Goldsmith states, “The higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.” That’s good advice for any kind of organization…including a family.

Find What Got You Here on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

The art of being sick is not the same as the art of getting well. Some cancer patients recover; some don’t. But the ordeal of facing your mortality and feeling your frailty sharpens your perspective about life. You appreciate little things more ferociously. You grasp the mystical power of love. You feel the gravitational pull of faith. And you realize you have received a unique gift—a field of vision others don’t have about the power of hope and the limits of fear; a firm set of convictions about what really matters and what does not. You also feel obliged to share these insights—the most important of which is this: There are things far worse than illness—for instance, soullessness.

Tony Snow succumbed to the ravages of cancer in 2008.

Let’s all appreciate the little things more ferociously, no matter our health and wealth.

Mere weeks before the conclusion of the war, Abraham Lincoln delivered his second inaugural address. Despite the enmity of war and the trials he and the nation had jointly faced, his words spoke of healing and reconciliation. He laid no blame on either party, for in his simple, poignant words, “and the war came.”

Instead of focusing on the differences that divided North and South, he focused on the common culture that yet bound them together. “Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other,” he said. And yet, he acknowledged that controlling events was out of his or indeed out of any man’s hands: “Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said ‘the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.’”

And with his peroration, Lincoln became “healer-in-chief,” espousing “malice toward none” and “charity for all,” and a call “to bind up the nation’s wounds”—not just in the North. He pledged the nation to “care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan,” and to look toward “a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

These are the words of one who bore no grudge, who sought peace in the ashes of war, who saw the full potential of his countrymen, regardless of uniform. We can all learn to seek the welfare of others and lay no blame, even when such can be laid.

Time management is a tough topic to grapple with: its core tenets are so fundamental that many discount the value they can have in our lives, and yet so many people are such poor managers of their time that the focus has to be on these tenets, over and over again.

When it comes to time, if you aren’t managing it, it’s probably managing you. How often do you find yourself saying, “If only I had more time to…”? Every day gives us 24 hours, and the only way to be get more out of that time is to manage it, strictly.

In Time Management from the Inside Out, Julie Morgenstern gives readers the tools to do so. Morgenstern has been called the “queen of putting people’s lives in order” by USA Today, so obviously she comes highly recommended.

The heart of Ms. Morgenstern’s insights is a three-step approach: Analyze, Strategize, Attack. Each is presented in-depth, with such practical direction as finding a planner that is right for you. In Chapter 7, “Understanding your unique relationship with time,” readers are given three exercises to help them understand what’s working, what’s not, and their energy cycles and sources.

One of her profound insights is that we need to make time tangible. Consider:

As long as time remains slippery and elusive, you will have difficulty managing your days. To be successful, you need to change your perception of time. You need to see time in more visual, measurable terms.

Essentially, just as a closet is a limited space into which you must fit a certain number of objects, a schedule is a limited number of hours into which you must fit a certain number of tasks. When you start thinking about it this way, time isn’t so intangible after all. In fact, each day is simply a container, a storage unit that has a finite capacity. You can only fit so much into it.

Based on all the trainings I have done, I have seen that anyone can learn time management skills. But it’s essential to learn from the experts. I know Ms. Morgenstern from my time at FranklinCovey, and I can assure you she is one of the best you can learn from. Her book is a must for those serious about managing their time.

Find Time Management from the Inside Out on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Two spoken phrases are especially powerful at furthering relationships and, when necessary, repairing them. These are “thank you” and “I’m sorry.”

Saying thank you when someone helps you or gives you something is commonplace and, generally, expected. What is less expected is to express thanks to someone just for being there for you—or, just for being. As you look them in the eye, say “thank you” to people in your life at random moments and watch the positive impact it will have on them. It’s worth it.

For times when amends must be made, a sincere “I’m sorry” can heal the figurative wounds we have inflicted. We may not be able to fully repair what we did, but we can show our acknowledgement that we were wrong, and that’s often not easy. Too often, personal pride prevents us from this sort of surrender. But, there is a healing balm in these words when we humble ourselves and use them.

None of this should be a revelation to anyone. We aren’t reinventing the wheel here. But, it’s useful to be reminded from time to time that two simple phrases that we might not be using enough can have a tremendous influence on those around us.

In the personal development field, few names have as much cachet as Stephen R. Covey. His book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is a true classic, spawning or otherwise propagating such familiar terms as “begin with the end in mind,” “Put first things first,” and “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

With The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, Covey’s son, Stephen M.R. Covey, gives readers actionable direction on how to develop trust and use it to achieve better results in life—work, home, and all relationships.

As Covey sees it,

Trust impacts us 24/7, 365 days a year. It undergirds and affects the quality of every relationship, every communication, every work project, every business venture, every effort in which we are engaged. It changes the quality of every present moment and alters the trajectory and outcome of every future moment of our lives—both personally and professionally.

As important as trust is, it’s a good thing that we can proactively build it. The trust others place in us is based on our credibility, and we can enhance our credibility through the “Four Cores of Credibility”—Integrity, Intent, Capabilities, and Results. These are focus on our “Self  Trust.”

The next section of the book focuses on “Relationship Trust.” Covey refers to “Trust Accounts” and he provides 13 behaviors that help us make deposits:

• Talk Straight
• Demonstrate Respect
• Create Transparency
• Right Wrongs
• Show Loyalty
• Deliver Results
• Get Better
• Confront Reality
• Clarify Expectations
• Practice Accountability
• Listen First
• Keep Commitments
• Extend Trust

He also points out that the behaviors need to work together to create balance. Talk Straight and Demonstrate Respect have to work together!

Aside from the book itself, the value Covey places on trust is evident in the 10 (!) pages of endorsements at the front of the book. I wonder if that was done intentionally.

The Speed of Trust will open your eyes to how you can maximize this essential concept.

Find The Speed of Trust on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Ben Comen has cerebral palsy. Ben Comen ran for his high school’s cross country team. Those two statements usually don’t go together.

Perhaps one definition of character is not relying on excuses when excuses are readily available to us. Ben wanted to be part of a team, and paid the price to experience that when he could have simply accepted his physical challenges and remained on the sidelines.

“Anybody can find something they can do, and do it well. I like to show people you can either stop trying or you can pick yourself up and keep going. It is just more fun to keep going,” Ben says.

Ben’s story is one of fearless determination; the love of teammates, family, friends, and a coach; belonging and getting back up after a fall. It provides lessons we can all use.

Imagine you received a dire diagnosis that you had only a short time to live. How would you feel? What would you do? Would you feel cheated? What would you tell people?

Randy Pausch received such a diagnosis. His story is well known to most people, and this week’s book, The Last Lecture, has had a deep impact on many people since it was published in 2008. Here’s a short review: Everyone should read The Last Lecture. Everyone.

Here’s a longer review: As a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, Pausch always knew there would, at some point, be a last lecture in his career. Due to terminal pancreatic cancer, it came much earlier than he expected. The lecture itself, delivered Sept. 18, 2007, was entitled “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams,” and it wasn’t about dying. In fact, the lecture was about living. As Pausch writes, “I lectured about the joy of life, about how much I appreciated life, even with so little of my own left. I talked about honesty, integrity, gratitude, and other things I hold dear. And I tried hard not to be boring.”

His book fleshes out his lecture and helps him tell his children what he wanted them to know after cancer would claim his life. It’s moving and sad and inspiring, just as you would expect it to be. In sections entitled “Adventures…and Lessons Learned,” “Enabling the Dreams of Others,” “It’s About How to Live Your Life,” and “Final Remarks,” Pausch shares insights and advice suitable for everyone, not just his children.

In one chapter, he shares some great advice about time:

• Time must be explicitly managed, like money.
• You can always change your plan, but only if you have one.
• Ask yourself: Are you spending your time on the right things?
• Develop a good filing system.
• Rethink the telephone.
• Delegate.
• Take a time out.

And then this sobering observation: “Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less that you think.” Randy Pausch died on July 25, 2008, less than four months after the book was published. This is an admirable legacy from which we can all benefit.

Find The Last Lecture on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.