What does that mean? In essence, the process of striving toward something is what makes us worthy of that thing. If you have a goal to become wealthy, are you becoming the type of person who can manage wealth?  Or, if you attain wealth, will wealth manage you?

In the end, as usual, it comes down to action. For example, what are you doing to become a leader? Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do the thing and you will have the power.” In other words, do the sorts of things that leaders do and, voila, you will become a leader. How did you learn to ride a bike? By riding a bike. How do you learn to become a leader? By leading!

In your pursuit of personal development, make an effort to “do the thing” so you can become more.

The art of being sick is not the same as the art of getting well. Some cancer patients recover; some don’t. But the ordeal of facing your mortality and feeling your frailty sharpens your perspective about life. You appreciate little things more ferociously. You grasp the mystical power of love. You feel the gravitational pull of faith. And you realize you have received a unique gift—a field of vision others don’t have about the power of hope and the limits of fear; a firm set of convictions about what really matters and what does not. You also feel obliged to share these insights—the most important of which is this: There are things far worse than illness—for instance, soullessness.

Tony Snow succumbed to the ravages of cancer in 2008.

Let’s all appreciate the little things more ferociously, no matter our health and wealth.

Mere weeks before the conclusion of the war, Abraham Lincoln delivered his second inaugural address. Despite the enmity of war and the trials he and the nation had jointly faced, his words spoke of healing and reconciliation. He laid no blame on either party, for in his simple, poignant words, “and the war came.”

Instead of focusing on the differences that divided North and South, he focused on the common culture that yet bound them together. “Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other,” he said. And yet, he acknowledged that controlling events was out of his or indeed out of any man’s hands: “Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman’s two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said ‘the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.’”

And with his peroration, Lincoln became “healer-in-chief,” espousing “malice toward none” and “charity for all,” and a call “to bind up the nation’s wounds”—not just in the North. He pledged the nation to “care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan,” and to look toward “a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

These are the words of one who bore no grudge, who sought peace in the ashes of war, who saw the full potential of his countrymen, regardless of uniform. We can all learn to seek the welfare of others and lay no blame, even when such can be laid.

When the NCAA Selection Committee unveiled the tournament participants, the so-called experts questioned the reasoning behind including VCU. Some said they were not worthy of inclusion, having finished 21-10 (or, 23-11 after the conference tournament) in what is considered a “mid major” conference. In fact, VCU was forced to play a “play-in” game against the University of Southern California. The winner of that game would then be considered part of the traditional “field of 64.”

Despite all the naysayers, VCU beat USC…and then Georgetown, Purdue, Florida State, and #1 seed Kansas, all of whom happen to play in traditionally basketball-strong conferences. Now, VCU, the proverbial Cinderella, is one game away from playing for the national championship.

What does all of this have to do with Max and personal development? If the so-called experts decided championships, if the outcome of games were determined by a vote, or by what happened a few months ago, or who played in which conference, VCU wouldn’t be in this situation. They made the most of their opportunity and put previous losses behind them. They determined their own destiny.

Do you do the same? Do you take charge, or do you listen to the naysayers? Do you put past failures behind you and focus on a championship effort? Or, do you let others determine your boundaries?

2 cups heavy cream

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Five ingredients, easily obtainable at the local grocery store. With heavy cream, egg yolks, and sugar, no doubt it will be something rich and satisfying.

What’s next?

Obviously you have to know what to do with the ingredients. You need a recipe to help you assemble everything properly. Success comes from following a proven path. Otherwise, you’re left to your own devices, forced to stumble around looking for answers, and cooking up who knows what.

So what happens after you have mastered the recipe? That’s when you can improvise and explore. To the ingredients above perhaps you add some lemon curd, or perhaps some finely chopped semi-sweet chocolate. The recipe you learned then becomes the departure point for numerous variations, each of which gives you the opportunity to expand the boundaries. It’s like a piano prodigy adding her own flavor to a Mozart classic.

The basics—the recipe—are always at the core of your effort. But it’s only the start. Once you master the basics, then you can improvise and experiment.

(So what do those ingredients make? When combined properly, they will produce a fantastic crème brûlée.)